I Know How I Wanted to React to Charlottesville

Originally written in 2017


A first draft of a planned response thread to Trump’s “unity” tweet went:

Fuck your phony unity. Your thug supporters drew a line on the street in blood today. And now you want us all to come together as Americans. No! I am not on your side, nor you on mine. Fuck you — go ahead, put me on your fucking list. Neutrality is dead; tolerance is over. It’s time to punch some nazis.

And on and on…

Really, I don’t know how to properly react to or digest today. Except for Trump and his nazi supporters, I read all day from my panicked phone crouch that the rest of the country outright rejected this terrorism. Good, good. We all agree, then. No nazis, full stop.

Okay, now what? What is tomorrow going to look like? What valid forms of resistance to nazis are there, beside the one of necessity 72 years ago? What is a nonviolent counter-protest going to matter when they spout their hate with impunity? When the head of state himself has fanned this movement into a terrible, violent internal conflagration. His chin never bereft of rage spittle at one or another group of Americans. Every nazi a beast of cancerous second amendmentality catalyzed by hope and change into a repugnant fragile white male.

This administration only exists for American demise. It’s mission is breakdown. Every executive order, every tweet, every crisis, is the means to our end. We are a mere eight months into the downfall; how we’ve aged, grown exhausted from panic attacks, insomnia, depression, self-doubt, existential dread, adrenaline, outrage upon outrage, injustices one after the other. We can hope, but I doubt everyone has the strength of mind and spirit to continue to withstand this onslaught, and to resist peacefully.

Ever screamed at the TV, wanted to throw your phone, ground your teeth at the sight of a bumper sticker? What’s the chances of all of us healthily channeling that anger into lawful peaceful forms of political expression, or at the very least continuing to indefinitely suppress it all with desperate pleading for a Mueller or blue midterm to end this national suffering? Events like today will continue, will expand, will escalate. This isn’t going away.

This certainly won’t end with Trump’s impeachment. Trump’s personal army has made their nightmare debut. These fucks will call it a coup and act accordingly. They think they’re under siege and defending their country already. Expect to see them at the polls next year guarding our democracy against voter fraud. What’s going to be their response when their god emperor is ousted? What will be ours?

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