Ready for October (Taylor’s Version)
It is something that has always been just mine.
Fall is here again. Yet again. Wow, we will never not be happily surprised at that. I can’t remember which pandemic year it was, maybe all of them—fall upon subsequent fall of Red and Midnights—but the thought of a new Taylor album in earbuds to go along with easy strolls that smell of fallen leaves and crisp skies lit with slouchy sunlight warms me up. I think of neighborhoods and sidewalks and cups of soup from cafes. My time to revel. My favorite clothing.
Every (Taylor’s Version) released in the last few years is for many long-time fans a renewal and resurgence, a rekindled joy of how they felt way back when, their younger love or heartbreak tied to Red or Speak Now. I anticipate some spark of the cyclical later this month, when 1989 becomes fully hers again, shared for all of us.
I’m too in my senses trying to articulate an odd thought occurrent while listening to a Taylor playlist I made, hyped and ready for the Eras Tour concert film also showing up in a couple weeks. It’s an overwhelm, and so much more than a consolation prize for not affording a ticket to one of her stadium shows this summer. This fandom is not something I socialize, nor have knowledge of a shared love with people I love and have in my life.
It is a solitary joy, an open secret and even then, no secret at all, really. It is something that has always been just mine.
When 1989 came out, “Shake It Off” and all its accompanying fun were best and most safely labeled in a “guilty pleasure” category of my music collection. I had little perceived room for acceptable pop in an otherwise seemingly-eclectic-but-really-vanilla indie and hip hop genre blend.
Slowly, though, inroads of singer-songwriter joys reached and reconnected with my heart. If St. Vincent built the bridge to Sadgirldom and Angel Olsen took my hand to help me cross, then Taylor Swift was the silent partner that seed-funded the whole project, the first crack in a grunge/metal masc mask that started forming around my ears in seventh grade and indie hardened a decade later. I got to see boygenius a couple nights ago thanks to them all journeying beforehand.
I am writing this on the tail end of a season of social media saturation in her artistry and consumption—with the caveat that if I keep sharing her songs from Spotify into my IG stories, the Big Algo is going to keep feeding me scenes from her universe. Concert shots and podcast eps abound with Eras Tour looks and set lists and bracelets. I keep almost overcoming the perception of the hypocrisy of the act and buying her Midnights Eras t-shirt.
But it is the vinyl LPs that are going hot, or perhaps it was just a couple article headlines amplified by the repeat return visits to the store. And for me, it is Taylor Swift’s album-centric craft that has always held the strongest sway. The stratospheric exceptions of “Shake It Off” at NYE and the 10 minutes of “All Too Well” on SNL prove the rightful reign of her collected works. This I write simply to remind myself of what I love most in her music and to kill any inklings of Eras FOMO, to come to this point and celebrate my fits of surprise or quiet anticipation for each Taylor’s Version release like they’re the biggest thing in my aging world, the hipness I never had slipping away. I will continue to enjoy the private karaoke and bad falsetto in my rambling excursive car, hot summer highway traipsing around a circuit of favorite movie theaters and bookstores and diners and rest stops. The whole of it stoking up the giddiness of an autumn crescendo for this concert film experience.
I wouldn’t have this any other way. This is a beautiful and fortunate gift, the Taylor’s Versions releasing with the fanfare of new albums, making contemporaneous sharing in the celebration of their arrivals part of my genderqueer experience in real-time. I don’t have to endure yet another form of cultural catching-up and take part. Though I’ve somehow slept on Reputation all this time, and I’m solo joyriding with my first encounter of Fearless.
Just need a strong red lipstick to go with.